The Worst Salon Ever

manicures
Your standard manicure shenanigans. We don't do hand massages, so don't fucking ask.

manicures

Your standard manicure shenanigans. We don't do hand massages, so don't fucking ask.

3 options
Price: $25+Duration: 40+ min
structure gel overlay
This is an overlay of structure gel on your natural nail to increase durability and strength. Similar to your ex-husband, this is a commitment that needs a solid 80% of your effort to uphold. If you have product on from another salon, book a “get nakey” as well. Includes one polish color.

structure gel overlay

This is an overlay of structure gel on your natural nail to increase durability and strength. Similar to your ex-husband, this is a commitment that needs a solid 80% of your effort to uphold. If you have product on from another salon, book a “get nakey” as well. Includes one polish color.

Price: $60+Duration: 75 min
structure gel fill-in (1/4 apex)
A fill-in for those who don't do shit with their hands and won't ruin their nails. Don’t choose this just because it’s cheap. If you pick this and you actually need a full apex, and you crack your nails, I promise it will cost you twice the amount of money to fix. Includes one polish color.

structure gel fill-in (1/4 apex)

A fill-in for those who don't do shit with their hands and won't ruin their nails. Don’t choose this just because it’s cheap. If you pick this and you actually need a full apex, and you crack your nails, I promise it will cost you twice the amount of money to fix. Includes one polish color.

2 options
Price: $45+Duration: 75+ min
structure gel fill-in (full apex)
For those that wish to defy the odds, push limits, and straight up piss me off by using their nails as tools. A full apex gives you durability and structure at the stress area of the nail. Includes one polish color.

structure gel fill-in (full apex)

For those that wish to defy the odds, push limits, and straight up piss me off by using their nails as tools. A full apex gives you durability and structure at the stress area of the nail. Includes one polish color.

3 options
Price: $55+Duration: 105+ min
rebalance (4-week fill)
If you haven’t gotten a fill in 4+ weeks, then you will need to choose this service. Why? Because it’s a hell of a lot more work. Don’t wait so long next time, dummy.

rebalance (4-week fill)

If you haven’t gotten a fill in 4+ weeks, then you will need to choose this service. Why? Because it’s a hell of a lot more work. Don’t wait so long next time, dummy.

Price: $70+Duration: 120 min
Apres Gel-X (new set)
The gentlest and easiest way to wear nail extensions- come in with stubbies, leave with long baddies. No, you cannot use these as your new can opener. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Includes one gel polish color.

Apres Gel-X (new set)

The gentlest and easiest way to wear nail extensions- come in with stubbies, leave with long baddies. No, you cannot use these as your new can opener. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Includes one gel polish color.

Price: $70+Duration: 120 min
nail art
Y'all be asking for the dumbest shit, I swear to god.

nail art

Y'all be asking for the dumbest shit, I swear to god.

4 options
Price: $10+Duration: 15+ min
pedicures
All pedicures include hot towels, sugar scrub, and massage.

pedicures

All pedicures include hot towels, sugar scrub, and massage.

4 options
Price: $40+Duration: 45+ min
Nanoflex Toenail Reconstruction
A flexible gel designed specifically for reconstructing damaged toenails. It contains NanoSilver for its antifungal and antibacterial properties.

Nanoflex Toenail Reconstruction

A flexible gel designed specifically for reconstructing damaged toenails. It contains NanoSilver for its antifungal and antibacterial properties.

Price: $20+Duration: 30 min
oopsie poopsie
You fucked your nail up and now you need it fixed. Don’t you dare tell me it was because you used your nail as a tool. Lie to me- tell me Stone Cold Steve Austin came and pummeled you, or you were trying new butt stuff. This appointment requires an apology and Starbucks.

oopsie poopsie

You fucked your nail up and now you need it fixed. Don’t you dare tell me it was because you used your nail as a tool. Lie to me- tell me Stone Cold Steve Austin came and pummeled you, or you were trying new butt stuff. This appointment requires an apology and Starbucks.

Price: $10+Duration: 30 min
get nakey
A removal of anything and everything for whatever reason without further damage to your nail plate. If you want it done right, it's going to take time.

get nakey

A removal of anything and everything for whatever reason without further damage to your nail plate. If you want it done right, it's going to take time.

3 options
Price: $10+Duration: 30+ min