“I Just Want Polish”

This service is exactly what it sounds like: gel polish on your natural nails. No extensions, no builder gel, no overlays, no extra support, just color (and before you ask, no, I don’t have regular polish….and no, I won’t use yours….and no, gel polish isn’t what’s destroying your nails- your shitty nail tech is). HEADS UP THOUGH: gel polish moves and flexes with your natural nail. So if your nails are thin, bendy, peeling, or break from prolonged eye contact, a structured manicure is probably the better choice. Save us both the frustration, and save me from having to pretend your nails weren’t used as a screwdriver.

Structure Gel Overlay

Hard gel, structure gel, builder gel, j@P3neEs3 g3l, blah blah….it’s all the same. This is the shit you want if you're looking for more strength and durability on your natural nail. NOTICE I said on your natural nail. Like, the one that already exists with the length it’s already at. Pick this service if you have no structure gel currently on your nails (gel polish is okay). If you want length added, use your brain and don’t pick this service. And if you read all of this and you’re still confused as to which service you should pick, either pay my PITA Fee of $500 (rolled pennies only), or just don’t come here.

Fill-in

I know the title of this one can be super confusing, so I tried to make the description just as confusing: you already have nails, they grew out, and you need them filled in. Please hesitate to ask questions.

Rebalance

If you haven’t gotten a fill in 4+ weeks, then you will need to choose this service. Why? Because it’s a hell of a lot more work. Don’t wait so long next time, dummy.

“I Want Like…NAAAIILS Nails”

Come in with stubbies, leave with long baddies. Achieved with full-coverage soft gel tips that get applied over your natural nail to instantly give you length (without having to wait for your nails to get their shit together). They’re lightweight, durable, and honestly pretty magical. HOWEVER…they’re also still nails, not tools. No, you cannot use them as your new can opener. No, you cannot use them as a screwdriver. No, you cannot use them to pry open an Amazon package that arrived looking suspicious. Don’t be a fucking idiot.

Nail Art

Y'all be asking for the dumbest shit, I swear to god. **this is an add-on service only…don’t fuck this up**

PITA Fee

$1.00 deposit required

If this fee is applied, it must be paid entirely in rolled pennies. Please don't make me charge this. I'm really trying to turn over a new leaf, be more kind and patient, and not end up as the reason someone starts therapy.